Note To Self....

Note to self.... when the temps are in the high 30's, bright sun or not, wearing gloves on the motorcycle ride to work doesn't hurt.

Note to self... wearing a white work t-shirt out to the barn and expecting fate to keep it clean is just stupid. But I did it, and it stayed clean. How's that for kicking fate in the teeth!

Note to self.... the dog's chain gets dragged through the dirt and.... When you pick it up and wind it around your leg to untangle it, you're going to get dirty. Count on it.

Note to self....Striking a match to a pile of papers to be burned does not necessarily mean that said papers will burn. Even if they've promised you they would. This may or may not have a direct connection to the amount of dew that has settled on them overnight.

Note to self....The oatmeal may or may not explode in the microwave. But it probably will. This does have a direct correlation to whether or not I've just cleaned it (the microwave, not the oatmeal - cleaning oatmeal is just stupid!).

Note to self....the cows will probably find a way to get out, likely on a day when I'm already late for work.

Note to self....Iphone's auto correct feature can turn SVSU (local-ish university) into absurd. That's not only stupid, that's absurd!

Note to self....The way this day is going I might be further ahead to order pizza and stay away from the stove.... just sayin'.....

Life is Good!

Let's Winterize The Fences, Shall We?

Hubby is going away hunting. Last year when he decided to do this, he came back damaged.  We're hoping he doesn't do that again.

It's traditional for me to undertake a big project when he leaves me alone for any length of time. The project that I wanted to do has been vetoed because he doesn't want me to run the saws while I'm alone. If you know me personally, you realize this sticks in my craw, and he's smart enough to know that if he's going to make a statement like that, he damn well better back it up with a rational rationale.

His reason this time: We can't have you hurt, because if you hurt yourself and can't work, we are sunk. (he still can't work from his last year's injury).
Ok, I know he's right, so I revised my plan. Now I'll spend my time getting the farm ready for winter, so that he doesn't have to and can help me with my project when he gets back.
Smart, eh?

Don't think for one minute I didn't see through that, but when he makes a valid argument I usually try to pay attention.
So, instead of redoing my bathroom cabinets, sink and vanity, I will fix fences and just generally winterize the farm.

Without a skid steer.

Let me say that again, in case any of you get the implications of that statement.

Without A Skid Steer! (Bobcat)

I will attempt to haul up a couple of loads of wood to the deck (without a bobcat, or a truck if the battery doesn't get replaced or the tire fixed...)

I will finally get the chicken pen enlarged and the hen house cleaned out (yuck)

I will get a few odds and ends picked up, like old fencing, fence posts, wire, get hoses drained and rolled up, a bunch of trash burned... little stuff like that. Maybe get the barn cleaned out.

And hockey watched, and knitting knitted, and a lot of bike rides if the weather cooperates.

This time of year I'm very cognizant of the fact that my riding days are coming to an end so any excuse to fire her up and take her for a ride pretty much takes precedence.

I need to get my cabbage shredded, crocks washed and put the two together to make sauerkraut. More grapes need to be turned into juice.

Hay loft needs to be rearranged to make it more suitable for winter, and the tops of the chicken pens need to be sturdied so they don't collapse under the snow load.

So much to do. So little time....

But I love fall.
And you know I love my farm.

Life Is Good!

Northern Michigan Lamb and Wool Festival, and Finally, A Diagnosis!

So I'm sitting here at the local fiber festival. You know, all of the knitting, spinning, and weaving stuff and all of the critters that make this all possible.

Gorgeous stuff, and the yarn and fiber fumes will totally draw you in.

And I'm finding that all of the people aren't bothering me. All of the chaos and commotion is being taken in stride, and I'm smiling and I'm relaxed! And how different is this from the woman that just 6 short months ago suffered from debilitating anxiety with depression.
Debilitating. So bad in fact that I sought out the services of a doctor who specializes in such things. Not only debilitating anxiety and the depression that goes with it, but social phobias, and an almost bi-polar approach to changes in life. (note to self - changes in life are gonna happen - deal with it!) Except I couldn't. And I seriously did NOT know what was wrong with me.

Why was I driven to such frustration that I would lash out unexpectedly and probably undeservedly to anyone close. Why couldn't I do my job and be part of the team and get along with others. Why couldn't I have close friends. What was wrong with me? And the anxiety! That's what finally drove me to seek help.

And now, after 6 months of a battery of tests and counseling, the diagnosis is in.

ADHD!

Wait, what? Isn't that what kids have?
Yeah, kids have it but adults also have it. But adults are supposed to deal with the symptoms and the world doesn't so often see this.
Except when it's bad. Except when it's so bad, that the fear of being around people or situations that I couldn't easily control could bring on a panic attack and a rousing case of anxiety that would last for days!

This was so bad that I considered quitting my job. I tried to work at home but that wasn't best for my employers and co-workers (although I'm sure they didn't want me anywhere around any more than I wanted to be).
This was so bad that at the end of the day I'd go home and hide from the world. I didn't want the world to see this "me" that I had no control over. And I tried everything. I tried giving up caffeine and dietary changes. I tried meditation and yoga. I tried medication, small amounts and large amounts, over the counter and prescriptions. I tried being by myself. And I desperately tried talking myself down. Every. Single. Day!

We had no social life because I couldn't possibly go out with another couple let alone go be in public. Now there were good days, don't get me wrong, there were days that I felt almost normal. Almost. But never quite like I thought I should.

And I always just KNEW deep down inside of me that if I could stand face to face with this demon I could beat it down. If I could put a name and/or a face to it I could win this battle.
I tried, day after day to face the world and be like everyone else, failing miserably almost every day.
But I did have one thing going for me.... I never gave up. I never quit fighting this demon and I never totally let it have me.

Well, now the demon has a name, a face and a presence and this demon is going down. Educating myself has been key in understanding the cause and effect of the whole thing on the human mind. Medication helps, but I really believe just knowing that I'm not crazy, not stupid, not lazy, not any of those labels that I've lived with my whole life has been the turning point. Just knowing that there really isn't anything wrong with me and believing it. Realizing that this scattered, unorganized way of thinking and working is wonderful in and of itself.

My mind works differently than a lot of other people. Now I get that, and you know what? It's ok!
It's ok when I feel scattered. That's just my mind pinging around inside my head and trying out all of the ideas that run through like a freight train. Just knowing this lets me be able to stop that train, get off grab hold of those ideas and make some sense of the things around me.

I am very productive at work, always have been, but have never been the kind of employee that got along with all the other employees that didn't understand my brain style. I thought this was all my fault, and was led to believe that if only I'd "open my eyes" or "think before I act" everything would run smoother, but I couldn't. And I didn't know why, or how.

I certainly don't blame my former co-workers for not understanding my style of thinking and acting, how could they when I didn't? But now I do understand it, or am getting there. Now I know my trigger points, and I know how to re-route the train before it derails into whatever object I'm heading toward. I've learned and discovered strategies to deal with different situations that just 6 months ago would have sent me home hiding.

I now understand how to better keep my ducks in the same puddle so as to be as productive as possible, while maintaining the creative pinging that keeps me going.

And I'm not done yet. I'm still learning and trying different things on. I am now so much more comfortable with people that I don't dread going out in public. I'm still fairly quiet, and still shy but I'm not afraid any more. New situations stimulate my creative senses now, rather than send me into hiding. Changes in my routine don't send me spiraling down into the black hole anymore. And that is soooo cool!

And this year was the best fiber festival ever and I truly enjoyed it. And maybe, just maybe, someone will see this post, think of someone they know and maybe suggest that they do some research.

What Happened To My Summer?

This may be forever known as The Summer That Wasn't. The winter lasted forever, then we got a few weeks of spring, a few weeks of "hotter than hell" and then fall.

As luck would have it, lack of summer, also means lack of projects that were slated to be completed during the summer, didn't get done.

Let's revisit some of the projects that were supposed to get done, shall we?

Chicken pen to be enlarged? Nope.

Back deck steps and railings? Nope.

Barn painted? Nope.

Greenhouse? Major nope! (major bummer....)

What did get done?

On the farm.... Chickens raised and butchered.

That's about it!

Spent a lot of time on my bike touring Northern Michigan, and , OH YEAH!!! The Rockies!

Some friends, hubby and I took our motorcycles out to Colorado where we spent one glorious week riding our bikes around and through the great mountains (and myself, having dropped my bike on my foot resulting in a broken bone or two, hobbled along for the ride as it were).

Totally awesome!

But then as we drove back into Michigan, real life creeped back in. There was a garden that needed to be weeded, a house and farm to be maintained and critters that required attention. That and the Mouth decided to move to Alaska, but I'm not over that yet so....

So, the garden got weeded and the foot hurt.

The critters got maintained and the foot hurt.

The house and farm were revisited and the foot hurt. And it continues to hurt, despite the fact that it has been over 2 months and it should have healed by now. Just sayin....

The tomatoes have been canned, and the grapes and cabbages are next in line, but this weekend is the Northern Michigan Lamb and Wool Festival, so in the kitchen playing with jars and canning lids is not where I want to be.

We have a new addition to the critter family. When The Mouth moved to Alaska she kind of forgot to take her dog with her. So guess who got her. "her" is a 4 year old boxer, the sweetest girl ever, very affectionate, loves to give hugs and kisses, and has a loveable goofy look about her. She's not the brightest crayon in the box, but she's nice and since I didn't want her to go to just anyone, we took her.

I've got two knitting projects I'm working on. The first is an awesome side to side knit vest from a new book by Interweave called Knitting Off The Axis. I'm using Knit Picks new Wool of the Andes Tweed in a purple heathery tweed. Sooo cool!

The second is a pair of socks with Noro's Silk Garden sock yarn. These ones will be warm. The first heel got turned today, and maybe tomorrow while at the Lamb and Wool Festival, I'll be able to finish it. Maybe. Still having arm issues, so have to take it easy but as long as I go slow, the knitting will still happen.

So that's all that's been happening. Looking forward to a color tour in a few weeks on the bikes, will be awesome!

Life is Good (and as if it needed to get any better... hockey season is starting!!!!!!)

The Summer That Wasn't!

This may be forever known as The Summer That Wasn't. The winter lasted forever, then we got a few weeks of spring, a few weeks of "hotter than hell" and then fall.

As luck would have it, lack of summer, also means lack of projects that were slated to be completed during the summer, didn't get done.

Let's revisit some of the projects that were supposed to get done, shall we?

Chicken pen to be enlarged? Nope.

Back deck steps and railings? Nope.

Barn painted? Nope.

Greenhouse? Major nope! (major bummer....)

What did get done?

On the farm.... Chickens raised and butchered.

That's about it!

Spent a lot of time on my bike touring Northern Michigan, and , OH YEAH!!! The Rockies!

Some friends, hubby and I took our motorcycles out to Colorado where we spent one glorious week riding our bikes around and through the great mountains (and myself, having dropped my bike on my foot resulting in a broken bone or two, hobbled along for the ride as it were).

Totally awesome!

But then as we drove back into Michigan, real life creeped back in. There was a garden that needed to be weeded, a house and farm to be maintained and critters that required attention. That and the Mouth decided to move to Alaska, but I'm not over that yet so....

So, the garden got weeded and the foot hurt.

The critters got maintained and the foot hurt.

The house and farm were revisited and the foot hurt. And it continues to hurt, despite the fact that it has been over 2 months and it should have healed by now. Just sayin....

The tomatoes have been canned, and the grapes and cabbages are next in line, but this weekend is the Northern Michigan Lamb and Wool Festival, so in the kitchen playing with jars and canning lids is not where I want to be.

We have a new addition to the critter family. When The Mouth moved to Alaska she kind of forgot to take her dog with her. So guess who got her. "her" is a 4 year old boxer, the sweetest girl ever, very affectionate, loves to give hugs and kisses, and has a loveable goofy look about her. She's not the brightest crayon in the box, but she's nice and since I didn't want her to go to just anyone, we took her.

I've got two knitting projects I'm working on. The first is an awesome side to side knit vest from a new book by Interweave called Knitting Off The Axis. I'm using Knit Picks new Wool of the Andes Tweed in a purple heathery tweed. Sooo cool!

The second is a pair of socks with Noro's Silk Garden sock yarn. These ones will be warm. The first heel got turned today, and maybe tomorrow while at the Lamb and Wool Festival, I'll be able to finish it. Maybe. Still having arm issues, so have to take it easy but as long as I go slow, the knitting will still happen.

So that's all that's been happening. Looking forward to a color tour in a few weeks on the bikes, will be awesome!

Life is Good (and as if it needed to get any better... hockey season is starting!!!!!!)

Helping The People of Japan

Some of them have lost everything, including family members and we have so much! So, to help raise money, myself and my peeps over at the CraftGossip blogs are having auctions where 100% of the proceeds will go to the Salvation Army to help with relief efforts. I have 6 books over there, check out all of our auctions....

Today it's all About the Tomatoes!

Tomatoes are what's on my mind today. I even have my tomato red shirt on. Don't mind the fact that it's advertising some bar in Alaska, that's ok. It's my tomato shirt. My story...sticking to it... you know the drill.

I didn't get any tomatoes planted yesterday but today I will. I'll also get some cool new varieties ordered from the seed catalogs too. I will only buy from companies who have signed the Safe Seed Pledge. No GMO crap for me, there's enough toxins in the air and water, don't need to put it on my maters.

I do need to get back out to the barn and try to wade through some of the winter overflow. You know, the stuff that gets thrown in the corner to get it out of the way, to be dealt with later? Yeah, it's later! Next two days are supposed to bring rain and mid 40 temps, we'll lose a lot of snow then.

And, since most of last night involved taking my bike over to the bike fix it guy (and resulting grease and dirt on my hands) no knitting took place last night. Tonight, however, there is a Red Wings game on, so knitting will occur!

Life is Good!

I'm Over It! Time To Start Over....

I am sooo over this cold. It had it's day (week) and then came back for round 2. No! No round 2!
Jumped out of bed (crawled, whining and crying) with renewed ambition.
Spring is right around the corner, and someone has to whip this farm into shape. This year will be the year of the farm!
Yup! This year the farm will start to pay for itself.

And my first act is to get the chickens in shape. Have to wait a bit for some of the 1.5' of snow remaining to melt, but with temps in the 40's this week, plus rain coming that will help. The chicken pen needs to be enlarged. We set the posts last fall and then someone who shall remain nameless saw fit to break his leg and ankle, sending us down a 5 month road to nothing getting done. I have to go to Home Depot, maybe today and see what kind of netting or hardware cloth I can get (cheap) to drape over the top of the chicken pen. Yesterday I hacked enough ice away from the door of the coop so that I could pen them in again. Pen them in at night, let them out during the day. At least until I get a "lid" on the pen so they can stay in there.

I can't go to the Tractor Supply Store yet, (because they have baby chix) and I can never resist those. Especially since I want to get turkeys again this year.
I'm torn between my chickens. On one hand I wanted all of one breed (did the research and figured that for eggs and meat, in this climate, buffs were best, so I bought a bunch of them last year, they would lay and give me eggs and more little birdies, but on the other hand, it looks kind of cool to have all different kinds of chickens, all shapes and colors, running around. So I'll wait a week or so to visit the Tractor Store, then probably come back with more chickens than I need.

In the knitting arena, I'm still working on a mohair cowl made from Aloft (Knit Picks). I got the yarn to try out, and Clover USA was totally cool enough to send me their new line of bamboo interchangeables from Takumi to try out. I LOVE them, but I knew I would. I'm all about wooden and bamboo needles. I have the Addi Clicks and the Denise set, but even though they "click" into place and the others "screw", I prefer the bamboo. Easier on these old, arthritic, farmer hands. They have just enough "grab" to keep the stitches in place while my stiffer than they should be hands and fingers have a chance to work the stitches. Anyway, the pattern is just a long rectangle with a herringbone stitch. Totally cool stitch pattern, but it's not one of those mindless patterns. Have to watch every stitch. But it's almost done, then a picture.

So, for today, after work, I'll get into town and do some grocery shopping, then come home and put Bu-Dawgh's trolley back up. I have a run for him, from the cabin to the barn, but last year during haying season, the trolley broke and never got put back up. That will get done today, as well as planting more tomatoes.

Going to set up my Ebay shop again too, lots and lots of stuff I can get rid of to make room for living as well as make some money to buy more yarn, I mean to get stuff paid off!

My bike is on the trailer, ready to go to the bike doctor. It needs a few fine tune ups, to survive our Ride in the Rockies this summer. If hubby doesn't go fishing tonight, we'll take that over.

Life is Good!