Fig Newtons... aka... Cookies 'O Satan!

My newest "moved back home kid", N, has found the oven. And, she has also discovered where I keep such things as baking powder and soda, chocolate chips, nuts... and, she found the cookbooks. Can you see where I'm going? I'll tell you where I'm going. OUT!! that's where, out, in every direction imaginable. First she started with innocent enough banana bread. Then it was blueberry muffins. Then she discovered Peach Cobbler Bread... (YUMM!) and last night I get home from work to find chocolate chip cookies on the counter. And.. the fixin's to make an Oreo cookie pie!
Good grief. I stand no chance what-so-ever!

My diet resembles that of a rabbit, love to eat raw vegies, fruits, grains, I've even been known to snack on a few sprigs of clover and alfalfa. I walk to work regularly (6-8 miles round trip). I farm, fight mustangs, chase Bu-Dawgh, garden, mow lawns (that's a laugh as I really don't have a lawn)and do other such things such as hoist 100 lb grain sacks high over my 5'3" frame, and wrestle with roto-tillers. I should be skinny. I should be a rail. There should be no body fat to speak of. And then along comes N. Who's getting to be pretty darn good in the sugar, flour and egg dept.

And I didn't see it coming. One day I got home from work, was tired, exhausted, very very un-ambitious and there it was, all over the counter and stove... DINNER! She had made dinner! And it was ready when I walked in the door. I decided right there and then that I would stand in her way and prevent her from moving out... ever! I also decided it would be really nice to have a wife. But that's illegal in Michigan so...

Back to the fig newtons. When I was in college, 3 lifetimes ago, my standard comfort food was a package of fig newtons and hot tea. Unless I was really stressed, and then only Jack Daniels would do. (Bob Seger and a six pack does a real good job of putting some perspective on reality too!) Yup, fig newtons and hot tea. Great stuff. I never quite got over my addiction to either or both. So when I come home to find that N. has gone shopping and among the items that have magically appeared on my shelf (oh yeah, she shops and does errands too!)that's when I went over the edge. I wrote her a long long note explaining that such things could not be permitted to exist unless she could guarantee their storage in a place where I would never feel, sense, smell, taste, or otherwise know that they were there. In effect they could exist if they didn't exist. Kind of a parallel universe type of thing I guess. Don't really know about that, I'm not big into physics too much more than that if I'm sitting under an apple tree and I get hit with an apple or a bird dropping, I can guess pretty accurately, from whence it came!

So the fig newton incident sparked this whole Creativity In The Kitchen Thing Who's Only Purpose Is To Make Me Fat(ter). As I'm leaving for work this morning she's mixing up the mixings for her Oreo Pie With Chocolate Pudding And Whipped Cream thing. I can't go home. Ever. It will be there waiting for me, in all it's chocolat-y goodness, teasing and taunting me into submission.

And they wonder why Chocolate has become not only the favorite food of menopausal women everywhere, but why it has easily become it's own food group!

Fell Off The Wagon!

Remember my recent post about hating ribbon yarns? And the bamboo yarn that I knitted a swatch from, and really liked the drape and softness? Remember? I didn't remember to remind myself that I didn't like it, and I fell off the wagon labeled "I HATE RIBBON YARN AND WILL NEVER BUY ANY MORE OF THE WRETCHED STUFF!" I had already decided not to buy the bamboo, already justified the non-purchase, chalked it up to self control, patted myself on the back, threw out my shoulder, and then it happened. One of the gals had 11 more balls of it, for 4.00 a ball and my fingers that control the paypal "send money" button conspired with Little Brain just enough to do the damage. Follow along with me:

T:But I really don't like ribbon yarn.

LB: Think of it as branching out. Everyone needs to branch out.

T: We don't do change let alone branching out.

LB: It's not change. It's an addition. Kind of like a new son-in-law or a new grandkid. One more person to knit for, one more yarn variety to knit it with.

T: That's ridiculous, noone in their right mind is gonna buy that. I fell off the wagon that's what I did and now thanks to you I have to go 2 whole weeks without my favorite chocolate cappicino.

LB: You're the one being irrational. How long has it been since you bought any yarn, especially this kind of yarn. You know you really wanted it. And besides it will last lots longer than the cappacino.

T: You do have a point, but how will I justify this to my budget?

LB: Just let me take care of that, you know how creative I can be in the funding juggling dept.

T: Yeah, your "funding juggling" has gotten me into trouble before.

LB: And as I recall you blamed it on me, so there's your out. Just blame it on me!

T: Dude! I'm all serious and stuff here! No More Yarn!!

LB: Whatever! Let's go online and look for a cool pattern to use this yarn with.

Yesterday I took a trip into town with my Dad, he needed to go to the automotive store and I needed to go to none other than my favorite store in the whole world: Tractor Supply Company.
There's just no end to the coolness of that store, and there's nothing they don't have! (I've even seen ribbon yarn there!)and.....
Tootsie Rolls! By the bagful!
On the way we passed Dairy Queen. My Egg, being of questionable mind and virtually no body commanded that we stop. I fought it, really I did, but once a command is issued, I had no choice but to comply, so I promised The Egg that on the way back we'd stop. Well, since we'd scored big on the bag of tootsie rolls at TSC we got off the hook on that one. (The tootsie rolls jumped into the cart as I wheeled by. I tried to put them back on the shelf, but they were too strong for me, it was just meant to be). But as the ongoing battle ensued, I'm afraid we scared a couple of elderly ladies waiting in the checkout line. Once they figure out what was happening though, they were all better and they agreed you can go to long lengths to justify chocolate. It's almost as good as bamboo ribbon yarn that I hate!

Red Wings won again last night, 5-2. Was a really fast paced, fun game to watch. Wednesday night, if
when we win, then we're off to the finals!