Monday, April 28, 2008

Things That Go Bump In The Night

My life is not boring. There's always something going on. I'm not saying that it's all that exciting, I mean, we don't ride bulls, wait I've done that. I've never been in the water and seen a shark, wait, did that too. Never fallen out of a 2 story hayloft. No, that's bad example too. Here's one, I've never single handedly fought a fire unless chimney fires or brush fires count.

So, Saturday night, I'm asleep in bed and the phone rings. This is about the only thing that will jar me instantly awake and shake me into alert-dom-ness. 99% of the time it's meaningless, like come bail me out of jail, or someone stole my car, or "Guess what mom? I joined the army!". You know, everyday stuff. Saturday night as I was instantly transformed fom my peaceful dream into fight mode by the ringing of the phone, this is what I heard from The Mouth on the other end.

(The following is a family friendly exerpt of the conversation that ensued)

TM: (The Mouth): I have a bat.
T: (Ter) You have what?
TM: I have a bat. (diversion needed for an explanation - TM lives with my mom and dad and their house has a history of bats).
T: What do you want me to do?
TM: Come get it.
T: But I don't want it.
TM: "Mommy, (seriously, she's 23)it's huge!"
T: It's a bat how huge can it be.
TM: It's at least as big as a Pteradactyl.
T: I'm not gonna come rescue you from what could be one of the smallest mammals on earth at 10:30 at night. (did I mention I go to bed fairly early?). I'll come over in the morning.

So like a good mommy who's only interest is to protect her offspring from huge extinct birds/mammals (She's an ologist. Have to make sure the speces are correct..)I arrived bright and early Sunday Morning. This poor creature didn't stand a chance with the bat fighting arsenol she had assembled. Tennis rackets, brooms, tennis shoe? What in the ...... Never mind.

Despite the professional version of her Bat Fighting Kit (no doubt purchased from Things That Go Bump In The Night R Us), the bat was alive and well, if not severely exhausted probably from laughing all night. To make a long story short, The As Big As A Pteradactyl was caught and released into the wild. No I didn't kill it.

I'm not an ologist but I do know the value of an A-1 mosquito eating mchine in the woods of Northern Mich. About 1/2 hour later I saw the same bat flying around and disappear back into its hole in the side of the house. How do I know it was the same bat? Come on! How many bats do you see flying around in the daylight? Let's not tell TM k?


Anonymous said...

You said it was a bird that flew in that house.

If your job is to protect your offspring why did you wait till daylight to come rescue one. I could have been dead my then, if I was the army brat you would have come right away.

If you were a good protector you would have not thrown a hat at me while I was in the shower and make me hit my arm, they are probably going to have to cut it off and people will call me stubby and it will be all your fault cause you didnt protect me.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had an exciting weekend. You should of saved the bat for me. I would kept it as a pet...